im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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