sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
