He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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