watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
