Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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