too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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