So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i was born a porn star she said
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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