State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
