So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
