Soap is not a condiment
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize