return my video game
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
