Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
