There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
