we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
