Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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