I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
