I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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