I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
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