2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
