i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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