Just fell off a train. Bad.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
