I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
