i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
