I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
