The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
