i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
