Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
