i may or may not be watching the land before time
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
