I must be too annoying 4 u.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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