sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
