she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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