and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
