Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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