but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
