So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
