just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
