I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
