I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize