His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
