trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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