can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
