its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
