guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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