I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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