You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
