Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
