she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
foreskin is a definite game changer
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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