and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
