i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
