Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
