I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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