I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
