At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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