Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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