I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
