He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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