The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
