I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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