Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
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