Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
