I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
