I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
