I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
