i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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