I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
