i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
