He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize