do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
