We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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