He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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